She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize