so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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