i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize