Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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