Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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