my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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