i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize