i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize