Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize