you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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