i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
don't judge my taste in strippers
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Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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