I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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