This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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