If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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