I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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