im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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