The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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