..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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