We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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