Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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