just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Sober January is a disaster.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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