How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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