We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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