bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i out mim tonsoeep
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