Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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