I got chris browned last night
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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