Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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