The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize