i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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