Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize