i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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