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I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
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