In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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