I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize