Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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