What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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