I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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