I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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