Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My life is pants optional.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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