I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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