You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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