i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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