He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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