I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize