I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize