somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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