No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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