I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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