We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize