Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize